Monday night.
1700: On duty at FHQ. Log on.
1702 : Sift through umpteen emails concerning - System Downtime/Parking at Cell Block/Daily Information’s/ Weekly Information’s/Monthly Information’s/Court dates/System On-Line/ System Updates/Policy Reviews/Federation Minutes/Retirals/Shift changes/New Starts/leavers/Support Staff Recommendations/ Shift Nights Out/Forthcoming Events/Training Dates ad infinitum……………
1735: Log on to Case Files. Sift through umpteen messages concerning – Statement Requests/Allocated Cases/Notes from the PF/Please Add Complainer’s Nationality/ Pleas Add Complainer’s Occupation/Please Add the Colour of the Complainer’s Curtains/Please Ensure CCTV Footage is Available in the Correct Format/Have You Considered Door to Door? Ad infinitum……………..
1750: Quick cup of coffee.
1754: Log Off.
1755: Grab Utility Belt, CS, Stab Vest, Radio, Hi-Viz, Hat and Probationer.
1800: Hit the streets running.
1825: Two likely lads down a side street. Spaced and Furtive. Quick Sec 23. Couple bags of Herbal. Caution, Interview, Charge. On your way.
1850: Return to FHQ. Lodge the Herbal.
1900: Hit the Streets running.
1915: Two unlikely lads down another side street both glugging from a bottle of wine. Caution, Interview, Two Fixed Penalty Notices. On your way.
1945: Three Stop searches (More unlikely lads). All blank.
2005: One likely lad pissing into the front door of a trendy clothes shop (The one where you pay £85 for a pair of tatty looking jeans). Another FPN although Mr Urinator came mighty close to a Breach of the Peace (Nothing better to do/Money Grabbing Bastards/You’re only doing this to make up your quotas – Just feel free to insert whatever you’ve heard before). FPN duly administered from the “Bladed Off” position.
2030: A small group of unlikely lads. All drunk or stoned. Harassing passers by. Loud, Boisterous, Intimidating, aggressive and verbally abusive. What started off as a “Just look lads, calm yourselves down” ends up as an action call, street fighting and three other units in attendance, gratefully getting me and the Sprog out of the brown stuff. Close call doesn’t do it justice.
2100: Return to FHQ with two Custodies arrested for a Breach. Caution, Charge, Photograph, Fingerprint. Court for the following day.
2230: Quick cup of coffee.
2235: Compile Police Report. Draft and re-draft, submit for typing standards. Submit to Supervisor for checking. Make amendments. Re-submit to Supervisor for checking. Add any case related documents.
0200: Pack up and go home.
3 comments:
At least it's less paperwork than if we were south of the border...
And we don't have to bother with the good old CPS.
Thank heavens for small mercies.
Refs?
What's Refs?
Oh, you mean that special two minutes to wolf down a packet of crisps and a cold cup of coffee whilst you're running between the typists, cell block, public office, sergeants office and the muster room?
Not that I'm bitter........
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